Hubble Bubble Toil &....

by Horatio Doppelganger

© NASA

The Hubble space telescope has been a huge success in bringing images of near and far universes, star systems and planets - said Professor Harrumph, well known crawler and boot licker of the establishment. However, this reporter has found some interesting information concerning Hubble. When first placed into space the telescope had a raft of problems with its electronics and its mirrors. It transpires that these could not be fixed and since then NASA has employed a team of Nerds dreaming up and producing these images just to keep the budget flowing.

Libby Scrambled, a paranoid schitzo from Maine (where else?), believes the system was flawed from inception. What's the point of it? You'd never get your eye up to that thing in any case!

Dick Fister, the 'Bullsheet' Senator from Texas said this is typical of your wily government department, hiding the true facts and pulling the wool over our collective eye - it's bullllllsheeeeet. Former astronaut, lay preacher and animal molester, Guy Gay believes the Ruskies are aware of the con but have been taking a back-hander to keep quite.

Naoki Nishi of the Japanese Space Institute says that if the rumours were true then Japan could launch a recovery vehicle and claim the telescope as salvage. I am an entrepreneur he said and have a yen for making money.