Polish Up On Learning

By Terri Estelle-Bean

Citizens Astronomique Community of Krakow (CACK) are to launch an awareness campaign aimed at educating the general public on all things terrestrial. Jim Kzxyxkxy, founder of the organisation, says his country folk are poles behind when it comes to knowledge about space and beyond. Most of our citizens don't know what's beyond the next town, never mind the next galaxy.

It is only now becoming apparent that there is another planet in our solar system, 2003 UB313, we must catch up before more are discovered. State television corporation, XXX Bang Bang, is scouring the planet for educational programmes and films 'on the cheap'. So far they have secured Planet of the Apes - a Bulgarian version filmed on a budget of $5,000 in someone's spare bedroom., a documentary 'First Man in Space', a little known Hollywood version starring James Stuart as a poor Tennessee farm boy shot into the ether before the Ruskies could do it - described by most as being both pitiful and another attempt by the Yanks to re-write history.

Sir Anthony Smythe-Smith Smithers, spokesperson for the BBC says Auntie will be assisting in the programme by supplying quality televisual material. We will be able to help their project whilst clearing out all our 40 year old shite that's laid around cluttering up the place.

Australian broadcaster G'Day TV is sending it's complete library on the Ozzie space programme. Spokesman Davo Cobber says the postcard should be with them within the week, or his nickname ain't Sheelagh.