Headline Shorts
Arubis-Phi - First Picture
Captured by the Pecker probe on the outskirts of our Galaxy, first glimpse of the new gas planet and its moon Tikka. Shot taken looking back towards our sun.
Video from the Delta 2 Galaxy
NASA boffins are wetting themselves with delight as the latest video is
beamed back. This eclipses everything that has gone before said one sad sack with a degree in bollocks.
Star Wars' Legacy
George Lucas has been urged to put an end to all future filming as alarming new pictures reveal the extent of his follower's
Over The Moon
French film-maker Serge Grass has
bemused scientists with his shots of the moon. Speeded up 71.3
times the Moon's spin appears eccentric, said the eccentric!
Red Dwarf Captured
The odds are ten thousand times worse than winning the lottery or
hearing something intelligent from 'Dubya' but these boys from Brazil
captured the moment. Sweet!
Columbia to blast off from Columbia
The
flagship space craft may rocket away from its namesake site says one expert - a man with one
shoe and a piss soaked raincoat.
Starburst Spectacular
Swede's
simulate a starburst under laboratory conditions using 2 pieces of
flint and a stretch of the imagination - no shit!
Orbis The Slayer
Sonny Sol reports from Barnsley
A huge Red Giant is set to cause havoc in the 5-Phi-Delta3214 Galaxy. The Giant has been growing for about 10 million years according Professor Whackov at Yale. The star is due to set off a chain reaction that could have repercussions on Earth. It's thought that the outer atmosphere could become ionised in the Southern hemisphere producing a light show similar to the Northern lights. Other effects could be a raising of the Earth's temperature by 0.25 degrees Celsius and the loss of the FOX satellite.
Wally Dung of the Australian Solar Society (ASS) said It's a bloody tragedy mate, strewth without FOX you can kiss goodbye to the Ozzie space race that's for bloomin' sure. ESA spokeswoman Lidia Fruitloop said some communications will be lost but most of Europe will still get SKY News, which is a shame as I hate the new format with news casters three to a podium looking like a Russian bread queue. And why are all their weather girls continually up the duff?
